Future?

Where will the path before me lead me to? Can anyone tell me? I'm really blur. Without any target, I'm nothing. Daddy and mummy want me to be economist, accountant, office lady......and more. But they are not my dream. I can't deny that you all had got the point.

Dream is actually about what we want, but the reality taught us that dream can only be achieved if we have the ability. You said I'm unable to study medical as I always push myself too hard until I have some mental problems. I promise to find some ways to release my tension in the future, but you don't believe. You said my result had clearly showed that I'm not qualified to be a doctor. But how would you know about it if you never let me try? Who knows I'm actually potential in medical field and I will achieve flying colours results in university one day? You said being a doctor will occupy most of my time and I will have not enough time to accompany my family. I told you that I believe my family will understand my situation and my job. They won't blame me for not accompanying them as they know I'm actually trying my best to help those patients. You said I'll be very down and emotional when I'm failed to rescue a life. I told you I am confident in controlling my emotion.

I know I'm giving excuses. I have started forgetting why do I wanted to be a doctor so badly. Mum said that I want to be a doctor just because I want to wear the white coat. I said I'm not that stupid. So, what's the main reason I want to be a doctor? I don't know. To help those patients? I'm not sure.

I had spent hours on thinking about my future. You don't know how badly I want to be a doctor. You don't know......