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Friday, December 23, 2011

抛弃。枫叶

我很喜欢枫叶
不知道为什么
总觉得看见
从树上飘落的枫叶
是种幸福

看着枫叶飘下
对我是种幸福
但我却忽略了
枫叶的感受

枫叶
是因为被大树抛下
所以掉下了
飘走了

枫叶被大树抛弃
这并不是他想要的
他也许只想呆在
与大树最近的地方
他只想静静地
从远方看着大树

在众多的枫叶中
他也许一点儿也不起眼
大树也未必知道他的存在
但当有天大树抛弃了他
他的心是无比的痛
但他又能对谁倾诉呢?

大树让枫叶
呆在他身边那么地久
对他没感觉
却又不打从开始
拒绝他
避开他
让枫叶对大树的感觉
一天一天的再增加
再一脚把他踢开

大树对枫叶
真的很残忍
给了他希望
又把他推开
这样看起来很残忍
但却是对枫叶最好的
既然知道没有未来
何必苦苦纠缠下去呢?

大树宁可现在对枫叶残忍
也不愿意给枫叶希望
慢慢的折磨
这样对他更残忍
只有狠心一秒钟
才不会折磨枫叶
一辈子

枫叶,
大树其实很想
对你说声
对不起。。。
对不起
给了你错误的希望
在你爱他爱得最深时
又将你推开
真的很对不起










Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Holiday Part 2 ( Taiwan Trip )

Hello, everyone! It's me again^^ I gonna tell you all about my trip in Taiwan in this post. 


7th of December, the day I went to Taiwan with my beloved family. We stayed in our house which is allocated in Penang. We departed from our house at 5 a.m.. So I was forced to wake up at 4 a.m.. Honestly, I didn't sleep for the whole night. >< I took the flight from Penang to KL and KL to Hong Kong and Hong Kong to Taipei. The flight from KL to Hong Kong took almost 4 hours. The most terrible thing is I had to wait at KLIA for the flight to Hong Kong for 5 hours! 


When we arrived at Taipei, it's already 10.45 p.m.. We walked to a nearby night market and ate some Taiwan dishes there. We went back to hotel in the midnight. That night, my brother, sister, my brother's girlfriend and me slept together. We played in the room until 3 a.m.. All of us woke up at 7 a.m. in the morning on the next day as my dad's friend would bring us to visit some famous places in Taipei.. We went to YangMingShan National Park and took some photos there. We had also visited 'GuGong' and we saw two soldiers were standing there and didn't move at all. I saw some students from Japan there too. I wish to take photo with them but my brother said that it's too embarrass. After that, we went to take our lunch. I bought 3 hairbands and a scarf there. We went to hot spring in the evening. It's so relaxing. We were supposed to take off all of our clothes before entering the hot spring. We went to 'XiMenDing' night market after taking our dinner.


On the next day, we went to TaiChung by taking MRT there. I prefer shooping in Taichung because there's more things to shop and the price is reasonable. The food there is not bad too. We shopped at 'FengJia' night market from 4 p.m. to 11 p.m.. We stayed in homestay for two nights. I drank 2200ml on the first night and 2200ml on the second night too,. I bought a pair of boots and some shirts there. 


On the forth day, we went back to Taipei and visited the Taipei 101. There are all branded shops there but I dislike the shirt because it's quite old style. >< We went to 'ShiLin' nght market on that night. The food there is not really good but there's a lot of things to buy there and games to play. Before going back to hotel, we went to ate Ginger Mum Duck and it's so tasty. Yum! Yum! I love it very much. 


On the next day, all of us woke up early in the morning and rushed to airport as our flight was going to depart at 7 a.m.. So, another boring day I had in the plane and at the airport. The plane from Hong Kong to KL had delayed for nearly 1 hour. I had my first experience for flying in a plane on a rainy day. 

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Holiday Part 1

I stayed at my grandma's house for one week. Of course, I enjoyed the week. I still couldn't believe that I watched 3 movies in one week ---> East Meets West, The Adventure of Tin Tin and also Magic to Win. Magic to Win is the best among these movies. It's quite funny and the storyline is quite interesting.

Before watching the Magic to Win, I got a chance to shop in Sunway Carnival Mall. I bought a Hello Kitty face mask and a Hello Kitty headphone. I'm so happy. ^^ I want to apply the mask tonight right before I go to Taiwan tomorrow.





A 'pencil case' I bought at 100 yen shop ^^


Hello Kitty mask @ Sunway Carnival Mall

Hello Kitty headphone


When I went to Popular last Sunday, I found the third book of my novel which is in series. Now I got the second and the third book. I couldn't find the first book at all. Perhaps I was lucky enough on last Thursday as I found the book at Gurney. This is so happy. =] I went to MPH to ask for the book but there is only 1 left and it is in Johor Bahru's MPH. How disappointed I am? >< Luckily, I tried again in Gurney's Popular. The worker checked the stock for me and she said there was only 1 too. She was not so sure about it so she went to check it. I prayed so that I can get the last book. And guess what? She came back with the first book that I had been searched for so long. I couldn't stop myself from jumping for happiness. Now, my novel's series is complete.


~First novel~

~Second novel~

~Third Novel~

Happy Family XD


This week is quite tiring too. I had to manage my time nicely as I have to complete my holiday homework and help my aunt in her boutique. It's a new shop so there's still a lot of things that have to do. We classified all the clothes and started hanging them. We had to iron all the clothes too, but that's not really hard. The most interesting part is tagging the price tag, but quite complicated. >.< I woke up at 8.30 this morning just to buy other shirts to add more stock in my aunt's boutique. We worked until 12.30 once. It's so late and so tiring. I was exhausted when I arrived at home but still I stayed up at night to complete my homework.

I am so happy as I had finished two chapters of my Form 5 Biology notes in 3 weeks. Hooray! I can at least enjoy myself in Taiwan. : D

Next post will be my holiday in Taiwan. Stay tuned for the next post, guys. ^^

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

先生、どーもありがとう

先生は私たちを教え、私達が私達の活動の遂行されたときに私達を行うために非常に感謝

あなただけの一年間ここにしていたが、私たち私たちにあなたのコミットメント時間あなたの犠牲に感謝

あなたが訓練していたSoranbushiチームが時間から時間へのより良い、彼らはより多くの練習を行う予定になると思います

私は彼らが最高のSoranbushiチームになることが確認されますと、私はあなたが将来的にそれら誇りとなることを願っ

先生はすべての日本のクラブAJKsする前に教えていたすべての生徒がひどくあなたを欠場する予定です

先生は私たちがあなたに与えた贈り物を私達のすべての時間あなた思い出させることができることを願っています

私たちはあなたに日本最高の願っています。注意してください

Sunday, November 6, 2011

Touching video!

I just saw a video that made me cry for so long. It's really touching. The dog did something that among 64 trillion on human in this world, not even 1 percent of them can do. It reminds me of my dog. How I wish it is still by my side now. Watch the video below and prepare a box of tissue papers beside you.


If you have a pet like it, appreciate it and love it more or else you will regret in the future.

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

I'm finally 16 ^^

30th of October, my birthday.

I had to sit for my PJ and Sivik paper on that day. After that, I went to prepared for the Japanese Society event. We did barbeque on that day. I received some presents from my friends and I really appreciate it. Unfortunately, there was raining heavily at around 4.20. I was forced to run in the rain and I hurted my ankle.



Daddy and mummy brought me to Tao, Autocity to celebrate my birthday that night. We arrived at Tao at around 6.30 and we enjoyed ourselves there very much. I took a lot of photo on that day.



Daddy mummy~




Me and my sis



Family picture without my bro =(


Before going to my grandma's house, I asked my parents to buy me a hello kitty present in 'Shop in Park' which allocated in Autocity too. My mum went to the shop with me while my dad and my sis were waiting for us in the car. I chose a hello kitty bottle and when my mum was paying, she received a call from my sis. My sis told her that Aaron Yan was right in front of our car. Wow! I can hardly believe it. I ran to my dad and I saw Aaron sitting in his car. There was a Ferrari beside his car. When Aaron shook hand with the owner of the car, he thought I am the owner's daughter and that's why he took photo with me. That's the best birthday present I received from the God. Thanks to Him.






After that, I went to my grandma house. Guess what! I had a hello kitty birthday cake which is made by my
cousin. That's amazing! They did give me a surprise party. After taking photo with the cake, my cousin gave me a large present which is by my aunt in Sarawak. I love it very much. ❤ I love this year party and I got a lot of wishes by all my friends and family. Thanks to you all for making my day. ^.^

















Saturday, October 29, 2011

Life is like a...

Life is like a boat
it might be smooth but not all the time
it might be a bit shaky and
when you thought you will be game over for next second
you are still alive because you did something to save yourself.

Life is like a movie
you watch drama and
you thought the plot will never happen to yourself
when you realise that it had happened
the solution in drama is not going to work in your life
same problem, different solution
just like a story
there are two patients
they have the same symptoms
they see the same doctor
but different medicines are given
don't ever copy others
the solution might not be suitable for you

Life is like a sky
there's sunny day
there's rainy day
there's also rainbow in the sky
when you're happy
you can see the sunny day
when you're crying
your tears turn to rain drops
when you achieve something with your very own effort
you can see the rainbow
there's won't be sunny day for your whole life
although you hate the rainy day
but without it
you will never see the rainbow

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Wonderful or Suffer? It depends on you.

Life, might be wonderful for certain people but suffer for certain people too. Those who don't have parents  and feel that noone loves them, stop thinking like that. God loves you, because of His love towards you, you are here. You might not have a happy life, you might live without your parents by your side, but think, is the God trying to train you to be a stronger people? Everyone meet difficulties in their life time, but people, aren't we have to solve them but not escape from them?


For me, my life is wonderful. I'm not as rich as Bill Gates, I'm not as famous as Michael Jackson, I'm not as powerful as Obama, I'm not as smart as William James Sidis, but so what? At least I have a home, at least I have my family with me, at least I have the love that is more than enough for me, at least I have my dream. You might think these are just common things that everyone have, but if you know how to appreciate them, they can be treasures.


In the past, I don't know how to appreciate these. In my mind, my sister has everything while I have nothing. When I recalled the old times, I realized how naive I was. She's just having the things I had when I was at her age. I heard a news from my friends last week. There were two girls that ran away from their home. I was so shocked when I heard the news. Home, a warm place that is full with your family love. There's always someone waiting for you to come back. It's not necessary to be your parents. Anyone from your family can do that, your aunt, your grandma, your brother, anyone that loves you, will always do that for you. I don't know since when I found my happiness in this family, but I do appreciate every moment we have been together.


To all my family members, thanks for making my heart feels warm. Love you all forever. ❤

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Betray

I get to know the meaning of "BETRAY" better today. I had been betrayed for thrice in my life time and all are unforgetable. I can still remember the first time I was betrayed, my heart bleed. Even when I remembered that incident now, I can still feel the pain. Last time, I cried not because of she betrayed me, but it was because she didn't appreciate herself. She skipped class with another girl. We were supposed to walk back to the class together. Since the day that girl came close my friend, I knew she meant to change her.

She, is the first person I knew when I came to SP. I treated her as my best friend and I thought I was hers too. No, I was not, obviously not. She made me felt so guilty, even now. When my teacher asked me where they went, I couldn't answer her. I was so scared that time, I almost cried out. If it was not because of me, she won't be punished by teacher for the whole week.

Now, finally I know how she felt when I did that to her. I'm sorry, so sorry.

Friday, July 15, 2011

Doggy

You entered my dream last night. That dream is so true and I thought you had really come back by my side. I nearly cried out last night. You had leave me for 2 years. Doggy, I recalled the first day you came to our house, the scene, it's so wonderful and I missed it very much. When you first came, you were so small and cute. I can still remember that you are my present. I got the first place in the class in my standard 3 mid-term exam. I asked for a pet dog from daddy as my present. And that's the reason you were here. We spent 3 days to think a suitable name for you. I even wanted to named you as Cutie but dad said that wasn't a good name for a male dog. I brought you out for jog, I bath for you, I helped you to wear your shoes, I let you took a ride on my bicycle. These are all the memories that I won't forget in my life time. Can you come back to me? I admit that it is all my fault. I shouldn't go to Genting with daddy mummy. I should have stay at home and accompany you. I should have be at your side when you were sick. I can find someone to help you if I was at home that time. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry about that. Please don't leave me like this. Do you know how pain my heart is when I saw the photos that we took last time? I am willing to do anything as long as you can come back to me. You died before I managed to finish the shirt I did for you.  Do you still remember the moments we spent together? I hugged you like a baby. You licked my face to wake me up in the morning. You barked when there are strangers come near me.

I miss you...




Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Saringan 1

It has been a long time since I last updated my blog. Today,I went for saringan in our school. I didn't plan to stat back actually,but my friend who had to run for 1500 m and also replacing another friend to run 100 m hurted her leg during yesterday practice. I didn't want her to be so tired and exhausted. So, I decided to run for her. I thought I had dropped high-jump and 4x400 m during yesterday practice but actually I didn't. That's so bad. I stayed back today to help my friend for the 100 m. But then, I didn't run at all because my friend saw it wrongly. And since I was there, teacher force me to do the high-jump although I had tried my best to persuade him and tell him that I would find someone to replace me. He insisted to let me participate in it. The result, I failed as I had expected and I hurted my arms and leg during the game. Well,that's not the worst thing. The worst thing is I had disappointed my teachers and my friends. I cried because of stress. They kept on shouting my name when I was going to jump. I scared that I might fail and disappoint them that time. Due to the exposion of sunlight today, I am now suffering from fever. GOD!!!!!

Moreover, I was not in a good mood today. I don't know why but all I know is that I shouted at a lot of people today. I was so busy recently. I don't even know what am I busying with. I just know that I have works to do. I have to apologize to Yee Jing, Celine, Elaine, Nick, Afiq and other classmates. Sorry for shouting at you guys today in Chemistry Lab. I shouldn't have did that but I guess I will have to control my emotion better so that you all won't be the victim when I am in bad mood again in the future.

Sorry to everyone. To my classmates, teachers, friends and the members in Sultanah. Today is definitely a bad day for me.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXErzfLNPBM&feature=related

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Blessed --> Story

Please, I have no idea what was in the briefcase. I just handed it over to the man described to me. I don’t know anything. Please, don’t kill me,” pleaded the woman. From the way she looked, she was in her early thirties. The dark figure stared straight at her carefully, trying to determine if what she said was the truth. As a trained messenger, Ludmand observed every gesture, change of expression of the woman. He read her mind, fathomed the extent of her deepest fear. The sweat was real, the fear in the eyes was inevitably legitimate, the tremble was too obvious to ignore. Those observations made him agree that the woman was telling the truth. At gunpoint, those were what expected to be seen. “You’d better leave American soil before I see you again, Matie, Ludmand said. Matie nodded and left immediately.

Ludmand was assigned to shut Matie’s mouth forever, and yet, Matie walked away alive. He was not as cold-blooded as he was thought to be though being a professional seller of death. He only took a person’s life if he was certain that the man or woman deserved it. Matie did not; she was a mere woman committing a task for the sake of money just like him. The only difference between them was that Matie did accomplish the task but Ludmand failed. He was paid to kill, and yet, he let her go. He did not earn the 10 grand. He left an envelope containing a cheque under the wiper of his client’s Mercedes Benz S320. He left.

It was between evening and night when Kimmel noticed the envelope. Only when he torn it off did he see the cheque he wrote out a few days back and a small note saying –

I was paid to kill. I did not, so here it is, your money. You never knew me, so didn’t I. destroy this note.

Los Angeles was not anymore a safe land for him. He was a man travelling from places to places, without leaving traces, footprints. There he was, LA International Airport. He intended to take a shuttle flight to Detroit. He was in a queue. Queuing was always seen as a waste of time to him, but without wasting this time, he wouldn’t be able to board the plane, he needed the boarding pass. Though being in a line, he did not fail to observe the surrounding cautiously. Businessmen, family, individuals, airport staff, people came from all categories. Nothing was wrong yet. It was still safe. “Next please,” the sweetie at the desk was calling. Ludmand approached. He handed over his receipt and his passport. The usual formal procedures were taking longer than he expected. This kind of customer service at this day was nothing less than unacceptable. Either he was too sensitive of not, he could not help shotting a glance to his right when he heard footsteps from the same person in ascending manner. I knew it, I knew it. A man in dark coat and black hat was running towards his direction, an unseen deadly force apparent. “The boarding pass, now. I’m in a hurry,” he told the girl. “It’s in progress, sir. It won’t take long,” she replied. “I want it now!” The girl was bewildered by his sudden madness. “It’s progressing sir. I’m doing my best to make it quick. The rest of the effort depends on the system. I hope you will understand.” “Too late,” Ludmand said. He shot himself through the crowd and ran. As expected, the man was now after him. There would not be only one man. He knew there should be more, hiding in the crowd, ready to break out and take him.

Take him down,” the man in dark coat screamed. Ludmand was right. There were others, but he did not know how many. He just kept running. He would just be cruel to anyone who was to stand in his way. He was about to reach the exit. Two guards spotted the incident and tried to stop him. “They are trying to kill me. There are many of them, I don’t know. The man in dark coat is the only one I know.” Both of the guards poised their weapons professionally and aimed them at the man. Ludmand did not stop running.

Raise your hands and turn around!” one of the guards said. “I said raise your hands and turn around!” the guard continued. The man in dark coat took off his sunglasses, fished his pocket and drew out a badge. “Senior Inspector,” the man said. The guards were bewildered. “Sorry, sir, go ahead,” the guard apologised. Ludmand was still running. He knew the longer the guards stopped the man, the safer he was. He was wrong, he almost forgot that there were more that might not have been stopped by the guards and were now after him. He was a professional assassin, was a well-trained soldier earlier before, a few men would not be a problem. Unfortunately, it was an airport, where security was extremely good. If he conducted an execution, he was not leaving Los Angeles. He noticed a golden opportunity. A car. A black BMW 320. The driver seat was empty. The left rear door was left open. Apparently, a man was waving goodbye to his partner after carrying the usual luggage out of the car. He had to move real fast. Just as the man was getting into the driver seat, Ludmand smashed into the man at massive momentum. The man fell back and dropped hard on the ground, cursing Ludmand and screaming in agony. Ludmand fit himself into the driver seat and sped off. He cruised around the airport in the BMW to observe the situation. It was not that serious. He could still get in. He parked the car at the car park and put on a blue jacket and a tennis hat which were found at the rear seat of the BMW.

He was in the line again. “Next please,” it was the lovely girl again. Ludmand approached, and handed her the receipt and passport, the same thing again. The girl was startled to the extent that she almost called for help. “Listen lady, I’ve got a 6-shooter in my jacket and all you need to do is give me the boarding pass as fast as you could. If I get caught, I would not mind having you swallow six bullets. Do we understand each other?” Ludmand’s words were threatening. The girl’s nod was accompanied by trembling. Two minutes later, the boarding pass was ready. This time, it could be seen that the service improved. “If you wanna know, lovely lady, I do not have any weapons with me; it would be useless to call the security when you know I’ll be fine when I go past the security check.” Ludmand walked away with the boarding pass.
Put your backpack on the roller and your wallet, hand phone, in the basket,” the security guard told  Ludmand. Ludmand did exactly as ordered. The security guard checked his body. Everything was fine. “Alright, go ahead. Next please,” the guard said. I’m finally safe, Ludmand thought. He boarded the plane. His eyes were shut. He needed peace. He needed rest.
Ladies and gentlemen, I’m your pilot John Atkinson. We are about to land on Detroit International Airport, please fasten your seat belt and do not tilt your seat. Our plane attendants will approach if you need assistance of any forms. We hope that you enjoyed your travel with us. Thank you,” the pilot said. He reached Detroit, eventually.
He’s in Detroit.” the man in dark coat said to the phone. “Unimportant, all I want is his corpse that’s all.” “Yes.”
Ludmand took a cab to a hotel. Not a grand, but rather an economic one. Room 403. Pretty nice. Just as he had had a shower, the moment he set his foot on the carpet again, there were three light knocks. Weird, he had not even ordered anything yet. He peeped through the peep hole and noticed it was the hotel manager. “Yes?” Ludmand asked. “Well, sir, It’s me Mr. Robinson, the manager of this hotel. I apologize to interrupt your peace but I was told to deliver a note to a man I was described.” Ludmand sensed a touch of fear under the manager’s tone. “Who’s the man?” “Mr Ludmand, sir.” “I mean who’s the man that told you to deliver this note?” “He preferred not to reveal his name.” “Slide it under the door. I’m Ludmand.” “I was told to only deliver this note to the man I was described.” The manager was trembling over the death threat posed by a man in dark coat who was pointing the barrel of the gun at the manager three feet away beyond Ludmand’s view from the door peep hole. Ludmand knew there was something wrong. Nobody knew he was in Detroit. It was too weird to receive a note especially when it had not even been two hours since he reached Detroit. He had to be cautious. Something must be wrong, he knew it. He could sense it. He unlocked the door and moved behind the door immediately. Just as the click on the lock was heard, the man in dark coat smashed hard into the door. The door crashed on the wall. The man in dark coat was surprised and furious to find that Ludmand was not hurt. This was pretty much expected. Ludmand was a professional. Due to this reason, he had had backup earlier. He smirked.

Without having a word said, Ludmand sent a big punch to the man’s abdomen and a knee-kick to the man’s chin. The man fell back. Blood dripped from the corner of his mouth. “Tell Kimmel to backoff me. And if he refuses to, tell him to send someone professional. You’re not even close to being qualified!” Ludmand yelled at him. And the mention of the name Kimmel, the expression of the man changed. He chose to remain silent. “Where are the others? How many of them are outside the hotel? Ludmand asked. “I don’t understand what you’re talking about,” the man answered convincingly. “You’d better understand what I’m talking about before you understand the definition of death,” Ludmand said to the man while having the man’s gun pointed right into the abdomen. “Where are the others? How many of them? Any cars out there? If any what car and what colour?” “I said I don’t understand what you’re talking about!” Ludmand pulled the hammer of the gun back. The gun clicked. The bullet was in position. The last step would be a pull of the trigger. The man was obviously in great fear, but he was not telling anything. It then occurred to Ludmand. The hotel manager was gone. He must have called the police. The man was just stalling! Ludmand cover the hole of the gun with a pillow and pressed them at the man’s thigh. “This is the last warning. How many are there that are looking for me? Any cars? If any, what colour?” Ludmand asked. The man remained silent. But the fear in his eyes were very obvious. Ludmand pulled the trigger. A muted gunshot was released, followed by a muted scream. Ludmand shielded the man’s mouth with another pillow. “Tell me now and I’m going to pull the trigger again. Can your little thigh tolerate six searing bullets?” Ludmand was saying. Fear was not the only thing seen in the man’s eyes now, weakness and fury were both perceivable as well. Ludmand pulled the trigger again. The same thing went over again. “Tell me!” Ludmand said. The man surrendered eventually. “Two at the lobby. Two in a black Mercedes Benz ML,” the man said tremblingly. Ludmand near the window, pushed away the curtain and he saw the black Mercedes Benz SUV. The man was telling the truth. But was he telling the truth about the number of people? He had to find out. He could not afford to waste time threatening the man again using the same way again. Ludmand pulled the man up and held him as hostage.
Ludmand used the man’s body as a shield when the lift opened. There were two men at the lobby, indeed. They did not even approach. It was weird. “You said there were two men. Where are they?” The man swept his view across the entire lobby, and looked at the two men on the couch – the same men Ludmand thought were his partners. “They’re gone,” the man said. The hotel manager, receptionists knelt down with their hands raised high up. They were all in fear. The guards came, they were armed. “Put your weapon down,” one of the three guards said. “You put your weapons down or I shoot him through the brain. I’m being surrounded. If I were to die, I would not mind having him dead as well.” The guards hesitated. “I’m a man of my word,” Ludmand said again. He pulled the hammer of the gun back. The guards quickly dropped their weapons. “Now raise your arms high up and turn around. Don’t stop walking until I say so,” Ludmand ordered. The guards followed. Still having the man as hostage, Ludmand got out of the hotel and headed towards the Mercedes Benz SUV. Two men in the SUV got down of the car. “Turn around and run until I tell you to stop,” Ludmand told them. They did not move. “I said turn around and run until I tell you to stop or I’m gonna shoot him dead, do you hear me?” Ludmand was yelling. Still, they remained unmoved. It was the time, Ludmand felt as if he were floating in the air. He saw stars. Images flashed through his eyes. He went weak. He went limp. He turned around to see what happened. He could not see everything. His mind could not analyse everything. He saw another two men behind me. One of them was holding a huge wooden stick. They were the two men at the lobby. The next second, Ludmand was unconscious.

He opened his eyes. He saw moving figures, but they were vague. He knew people were talking. He tried to get up from the ground. It was so hard. He tried push himself up using his arms. It was too difficult. Why? He arms were taped together. Each of his leg was taped upon another. He could not move. He tried to scream. No, he could not. His mouth was shielded with a piece of cloth. He was helpless. He was struggling, hard, very hard. His vision was clearer now. He could see more. The images were more vivid. It was the man, the man whom he shot, and four other men. He turned to his left. He was shocked to see the person. Why? The person was not supposed to be there. Why would the person be there?

Hey, hey! Wake up!, Hey!” Ludmand was whispering to the person. The person gained consciousness gradually. The four men had yet to notice Ludmand was conscious. “Ludmand? Why am I here? Why? Oh no, oh my god, I’m cuffed! Why?” The person’s sudden hysteria alerted the four men. They approached. “Why do you do this to us?” Ludmand asked them. The person was weeping. “The reason is simple. He wants it,” one of the men said. “Who is he?” Ludmand asked. “Come on, Ludmand, stop pretending. Kimmel. Kimmel wants it. You know exactly what I mean actually, so let’s not waste our time,” the man continued. “You mean the briefcase? The briefcase has been directly delivered to his hands. He has got it. He told me to kill this woman, who is now crying innocently. Yeah, I did not kill her, because I knew when she said she didn’t know what it was in the briefcase, it was the truth. I am a professional assassin,  I read minds, I was trained to do so, and when I lose my temper, I slice anyone who pisses me off like a sledgehammer. Release me, and this innocent woman before I get mad. You will regret if you do not do as I say. Trust me on this,” Ludmand said. “Stop crying, Matie!” Matie looked at him and stopped crying. All four of the men exchanged looks, and chuckled. “Well, well, well, our dear professional assassin. You are being taped and you are one on four. What can you do? Stop the thought of using your gun. It’s here. You are unarmed. What can you do?” one of the men said. The hall broke into a cloud of laughters. “Well, let’s try,” Ludmand threatened. One of the men held the gun high up and hit the end of the handle hard on Ludmand’s head. It was a big hit. Ludmand could feel the blood rushing out of the wound, past every single piece of hair around the wound. The blood dripped from the wound to his forehead, gradually to his cheeks and stopped at the chin. “Enough, we’ve got things to ask him,” his partner said to him. “Alright, Mr. Ludmand, we don’t want to waste anymore time. Tell us where the stuff is, and we will let this woman and you go.” “You will?” Ludmand chuckled and said again, “I very much doubt that.” “You have no choice. I give you two minutes. The first two minutes you don’t tell me the exact location of the stuff, I chop a finger off this woman, the second two minutes, a hand, the third two minutes a leg. You have my word.” The man had a big hammer on his hand, pointed it at Matie. Matie literally trembled. “Tell him, Ludmand, tell him. He’s gonna chop my finger off me, tell him!” Matie was pleading. “You have 100 seconds, Mr. Ludmand.” “Tell him! Tell him where it is!” It was Matie. “”75 seconds! Time flies, Mr. Ludmand. Make your choice.” The man was telling Ludmand. Ludmand was hesitating. It was the first time he got a threat this serious in his life. Just because of his unwillingness of telling the location of something not belonged to him, a woman would suffer severely. “I don’t know where it is, the briefcase was sent directly to Kimmel, he has got what he…” “50 seconds.” “Stop! I received an order from…” “45 seconds” “I really don’t know where it is, how many times do I have to tell you, it was not me who…” “28 seconds.” “Tell him, Ludmand, tell him! He is serious!” Matie was begging. “I don’t know where it is! Do you really think I’m playing with your fingers?” “15 seconds.” “No, you can’t do that to her. She doesn’t know anything at all.” “But you do, Mr. Ludmand.” “No, I don’t. If I knew I would have told…” “5,” the man was looking at his watch while having the hammer steady in his grab. “4” “Tell him, Ludmand, please, tell him, I don’t wanna lose a finger. Please, Ludmand, please,” it was Matie. “3.” “Tell him, Ludmand! Tell him.” The hammer was raised high up. “2” Ludmand remained silent. “Last chance, Ludmand, where is it?” “Chop her finger, and I still won’t tell you. Do it. Say 1 and do it, come on.”    “1,” the man said.

Just keep running, don’t look back,” Ludmand told Matie. “Are they still after us?” Matie asked. “I don’t know. Just keep running. You don’t have to worry, even if they are, they wouldn’t get us. Two have to be sent to hospital, another two have already gone limp.” “What if they have a car?” “They may have a car, but they won’t use it. They want everything off public. Chasing two people with a car on a street just draws too much attention.” “What if you are wrong?” “I’m never wrong.” “Had you made a small mistake in your judgement, I would have lost a finger.” “You have not.” “What if you were wrong?” “I was not. Alright, I think that’s it. We should be safe by now. Let’s get to a hotel.”

In the hotel, Ludmand sat behind the dressing table and stared long at the mirror. It was when Matie got out of the bathroom in angel white pyjamas, Ludmand took his eyes off the mirror. Matie sat on the bed and looked Ludmand in the eyes. “Now will you tell me what happened?” Matie asked. “I don’t fully understand,” Ludmand replied. “They said the stuff is with you. They will never stop until you return it.” “Let’s not talk about that.” “Not talk about that? Huh? Not talk about that? Do you even think I want to? First I was instructed to deliver a briefcase to the so called Kimmel for $2000 and next you came threatened to kill me. What made you change your mind I don’t really know and then I thought I would be free again when you let me go. Then I was taken by some rude guys to Detroit. I found myself next to the same cruel killer that let me go. He risked my finger on his said-to-be-never –wrong judgement that the men would not chop my finger off. And I’m now in a hotel with the cruel killer that saved my life, and you tell me not to talk about that?” “Pathetic.” “Pathetic, yeah, pathetic, so that’s only what you would say now.” Ludmand did not answer. “Why did you take it? What was in the briefcase?” “Do you really wanna know?” “Yeah, I want to know it very badly, tell me now.” “First, there’s no reason for you to risk losing your life simply by satisfying your curiosity. Second, I do not have to tell you why I took it. Third, I’ll leave this hotel if you still keep asking.” “Well, good, leave then.” “Are you serious?” “Yes I am, leave now!” “Alright, let me remind you something, they wouldn’t stop searching for us. Take care, bye.” Ludmand turned the doorknob and pulled the door open. He was ready to leave. “Wai… Wait…” It was Matie. “Yes?” “I’m sorry.” “For what?” “Whatever. Just….” “Just what?” “Don’t go.”

For three hours, they talked about themselves, opened up with each other. They were getting closer. The barrier between them was narrowing. “So, you are a soft-hearted assassin,” Matie was saying. “Well, I love the sound of it,” Ludmand answered. “Why did you let me go?” MAtie asked again. “The reason lays on your definition towards my profession - a soft-hearted assassin. You were innocent. I knew that. From the way you looked. There was no ground to believe that you were telling lies.” Matie gave a sweet smile. “Thanks for believing me, Ludmand.” It was now Ludmand who returned the smile. “Ludmand.” “Yes?” “Why did you take the stuff? It did not belong to you, why don’t you return it to the owner?” “It’s a long story, Matie, and I know I’m right.” “What if you are wrong?” “I am nev…” “You are never wrong, I know. But the people are still looking for you. Is the list really worth risking your life?” Ludmand thought for a moment. “It is. I prefer not to talk about it, Matie. I’m tired. I’ll sleep on the couch. Good night.” “Okay, good night.”

The next morning when they both woke up, they packed their stuff and left the hotel knowing the longer they stayed, more danger they were in. The only stuff Ludmand had with him was his backpack. They had their breakfast in a restaurant. “Alright, Matie, keep an eye on my backpack. I’m off to the restroom, I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.” “Alright.” Matie was curious over what Ludmand had in his backpack. She unzipped the bag; normal stuff; nothing special. “No, there’s something.” She whispered to herself. She found a pen in the bag that looked too unusual to her. It was a normal supposed-to-be-transparent pen, but it was opaque. The case was made of transparent plastic but she could not see through. Something was rolled into the case of the pen. She turned the little seal at the end of the pen to retrieve the rolled paper. She was shocked to find that it was the list everyone was looking for. She knew Ludmand would be out any minute. She kept the paper and put the pen back in the bag. The bag was placed in a position exactly it was when Ludmand left for the restroom. “Alright, we gotta go,” Ludmand said to her. “Okay, but wait a minute. It’s my turn,” Matie said. Ludmand was confused. “Restroom,” she added. Ludmand chuckled. In the women restroom, Matie took out the cellphone and called her associates and told them the exact location of where they were.

Ludmand and Matie continued to run, without an exact direction. Matie was exhausted. “Ludmand, wait. I… I can’t…” “Do you need some rest?” “Yes, please. And water.” There it happened!
Ludmand felt the head of the gun pressed hard into his back. “Don’t move,” the man told him. Ludmand did not move. “Alright, do you have it with you?” The man asked Matie. Matie nodded. “Good, let’s go,” the man told Matie. The expression on Ludmand was predictable. “Sorry, Ludmand, guess you are wrong this time. The list is with me,” Matie told Ludmand. Ludmand did not say anything. Matie let out a chuckle. “Let’s go, boys.” Matie and the man got into a white van and left, leaving Ludmand sitting at the bench.

This is it, Kimmel,” Matie said. Kimmel had a look at the list and smirked. “Good job, Matie. You will be rewarded well.” Matie drew out a pen and stabbed it into Kimmel’s abdomen. “I did not risk my life for a cheque. I want to be the leader.” Screaming in agony, Kimmel could not comprehend what had just happened. “No, no, you can’t…” “Yes I can.” “Take her down!” Kimmel ordered. His men remained unmoved. “Can’t you hear me? Take her down!” The men did not. “They are my men now, Kimmel. Rest in peace.” Matie said. “Clear this mess,” Matie told her men. “Have you got me Dr.  Cooper?” One of the man replied, “Yes. He will be here in a while.” “Good.”

Good evening, Dr. Cooper. “ “You must be Matie Mcguire.” “Yes I am. Let’s get to business. This is the list.” Dr. Cooper looked at it in amazement. “I never thought it would be possible.” “It is possible.” “How long will it take you to do that?” “I can’t do this alone. I need a team of the best scientists to assist me.” “We will supply you whatever you need. I need a timeframe.” “It is impossible to tell.” “Okay. But I want it done asap.” “Yes.”
Take this.” Ludmand said. “What’s this?” “Just take it.” His best friend Professor Anazei took it. “Don’t you tell me it’s…” “Yes, it is.” “No, it is theoretically impossible.” “It has been made possible.” “Do you know what this is? I can easily do 30 years if I’m caught having this. With this you can harness the energy of the sun totally. No more power station, no more generators, no, nothing.” “I know. I can’t do anything with this. You can.” “I’m not doing this. I’m gonna burn it.” “Before you do, think, what you can do to change this world.” “Wait wait, wait a minute. As far as I know, this formula is created by a bunch of best minds in the world, and no one person really knows the entire formula which is this because every mathematician and scientist only works on one particular part of the formula. You should have loads of people after you.” “You don’t have to worry about that. I gave them the wrong formula. They won’t see any outcomes, instead, they will be arrested.” “What did you do?” “Smart deeds.”

A few months later…

It’s getting done, Matie, it’s getting done.” Dr. Cooper told Matie. “What’s the progress?” Matie asked. “According to the list, once I transfer the liquid which was formed by a combination of chemicals that you may not have heard before, into this never-ever-existed generator-like machine, it will produce an electromagnetic force to…” “Stop here. I want it done. Spare me the details.” Matie was impatient. “Everybody get ready for this defining moment. We are making history!” Dr.Cooper told his team. Everyone was ready. “Is the video recorder ready?” “Yes,” the camera man said. “Alright, do it now!”
The liquid was poured into the machine. The machine shook at unstoppable rate. It was hot. The heat produced was too high to kill the switch. All controllers were malfunctioned. “What happened?” Matie asked. “This is weird. This is weird,” Dr. Cooper said. “What happened! Tell me what happened!” “I don’t know!” 10 seconds later, the entire underground laboratory was blasted into pieces. No one survived the blast.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Health Problem

What's wrong with me these days? I feel cold although I'm staying in my room without my air-cond on. I'll suffer from fever easily. No appetite to eat and keep vomitting. What happen to me? All these happen because of tension again? No,it can't be. I got no stress at all. Then why am I become weaker and weaker nowadays? Any idea?

Honestly,this is so suffering. I usually take 3 meals in a day but now I manage to take only 2 meals. I take it in small amount but I keep vomitting. If I had vomit everything out,had my body absorb any nutrient from the vomitted food? I never tell my parents about it yet. I just told them that I got no appetite and I never mention about the vomit stuff. I'm not going to tell them as I know they will scold me because of pushing myself too hard.

GOD...IT'S SO SUFFERING!!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Japanese Exam!!!

I wish to take the japanese language exam! I just started to learn japanese this year and the exam is on August. Do you guys think I can score in that exam? I wish I could. I know that if I really take the exam, I will have to put more effort and time on it but not to let it affect my study. I have many teachers to teach me and they are willing to teach me too. I don't think this is wasting my time and I think this may help me to lose my stress. I love japanese. I love everything that is relate to it. I love japan,japanese food,japanese culture,japanse anime,japanese dance and so on. How I wish I could go there. >< Back to the topic,I really hope that I have the chance to take the exam. But I have to study 4 years stuff in 4 months. I'm not incredible but I will try my best I guess. Forgive me if I can't make it. Support me if I plan to give up.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Choral Speaking Day

13 April 2011
The day had finally came. We had a rehearsal at school before we went to SMK Sg. Layar. Mr.Ramli watched the rehearsal and gave us some comments. We were the 11th group that present,after the 20 minutes recess. I was so happy that day because my dad was there to watch my performance. He even late for his appointment because of this. Thanks,dad. Our school was using the same script with another 2 school. I cried because of that. I was so scared,so nervous. Others said that we had leg movement so may be disqualified. When they announced the schools' name that were given 'sijil penghargaan',i was so scared and i held syazwani's hand tightly. After that, I cried again when I knew that we got the second. I don't know why will I cry. I was not sure I cried because I was too happy or I was too disappoint with the result. I cried loudly when I heard that our conductor get the "Best Conductor". I was too happy as he took ours advices and had such a good result. I was happy for him. He made us proud, made our school proud. We were too happy to have him as our conductor. Well,we were invited to take part in the Petronas Choral Speaking Competition. Convent and Tunku Sulung were invited too. Although I was bit disappointed as we can't take part in the state level competition, but at least I knew that all of us had tried our best. The judges told us that our school performance is very good, but lack of humour. I was happy to hear that as this is our last minute work. Now, we will be preparing for the Petronas competition for one month. We have enough time to do that and I'm sure we can do better and better, and finally be the best among all the schools.

Best Conductor

Me and other choral speakers


Gossip girls XD

Friday, April 8, 2011

Choral Speaking Competition

Choral speaking competition will be on this coming Wednesday(13.4.2011). Our school's choral speaking team had spent about 1 month to practice on it. Everyone of us did our best during our practice. We sacrifice our time just to get the first place in the competition. It reminded me when I was in Form 1. I entered the choral speaking team when I was in Form 1 too. But I was still a small kid during that time. I don't think I had done my best and I remembered that I was so nervous before I went up to the stage. Mohana noticed it and asked me not to be nervous,just do it.

I really hope that I can do my best in this competition. I don't want to disappoint sir. We have only 3 more days to practice for it. We are lack of time. Tension,is the only feeling I have now. How I wish there is someone that is supporting me now or just say "Ganbate" to me and that's enough for me. I may not be perfect,but I'll try my best to be perfect.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Fall for Someone XD

I fall for someone. His name is Add Math. I feel so happy when I manage to solve the add math questions myself with the correct answer. I would like to continue an work hard on it in the future. I failed my first add math test but I hope I won't fail my second. Add math is such an interesting subject with lots of formula. I am like playing with the number when I do add math question everytime. It's fun. And I realise that once we have fall in love with any subject, we will work hard on it, found it interesting and won't feel bored when we're doing it. So, I should make myself fall in love with every subject that I'm taking so that I'll manage to score flying colours in every subject.

Ganbate^^

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Stressful and Tired

Today was such an exhausted day. I didn't sleep for the whole night and went to school in such a bad condition. I didn't feel sleepy in school,but I was a bit moody. Although my knee is injured and the doctor asked me to rest for 6 weeks,but I still joining my friends ran at the field and played bola jaring there. My PJ teacher said that I have the potential to play bola jaring and she asked me to think about it. I am so happy when I heard that.

During the Chemistry class,I was very moody. I had no mood to do anything or maybe I should say that I felt a bit sleepy. I felt like crying. My friend,Yee Jing told me that I sweat a lot and I realised that I'm sick. I didn't phone my mum to fetch me home because of that reason. I know I have many works to do and I can't go like this. I'm fever,but still I tried to do all my works perfectly.

When I told sir that I had to leave early for choral speaking practice later,he was like scolding me. I can know that he was very angry from his expressions. He asked me not to go for any activity after this and if I still going for it,I may be list in the reserved list. If this really happen,that means all the effort I put into it will be disappear. I don't want this to happen. I was so stressful because of choral speaking stuff. I had give sir a good impression and I'm not going to break it. What should I do? Quit? Or continue it?

I went for choral speaking practice at 3.30 and leave at 4 to teach the Persatuan Senamrobik members to dance. I went for Japanese Club activity at 4.45 at straight to my tuition at 5. Can you imagine how tired I am? Is there anyone that concern me because of these? Do anyone know that I'm really tired and stressful because of all these stuffs? If there is someone that know about it,can you keep me strong? Please...I need someone...to give me the strength...Sorry,Mr.XXXXX,I admit that I was wrong. I need someone. I'm weak. I'm not strong enough. And I lied a lot to you. Sorry...

I cried in school again. Luckily there was a counsellor in my class,Syafiq. Thanks to him,for consuling me and tell me what to do although I know I won't take his advice,but thanks anyway. I'm not in good mood for the whole day,include this moment,when I'm writing for my blog. Honestly,I didn't cry this much when I broke up with my first ex. This might be silly,but it's true. I do cry a lot because of this relationship. I force myself to sleep yesterday in order to stop my tears that was uncontrolable. 

Tears drop again. I guess it means I should stop now.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

A Happy Day^_^

I went to my Physics tuition at Einstein last night. The girl that was sitting beside me is a form 5 girl. I saw many scars on her hand. And the scars are just the same as mine. I started the conversation with her and I get to know that she cut herself because she is tension for sitting for her spm this year. I noticed that she hardly understand what is the teacher explaining so I volunteer myself to help her. I explained every questions to her so that she can understand the lesson. I feel that I did something meaningful and I am so happy that I can help others. Well,I'm so glad that I have the opportunity to lend my hand to those who need it. It was quite a happy day for yesterday^^